End of Life Doula UK

Trying to stay strong, Sally insists on being the one to make the tea. But as she anxiously stands over the boiling kettle, desperate to keep busy, I can see how weary she is and how much she needs, and wants, to let down her guard. Like many who are facing the magnitude of a life changing diagnosis, emotional Sally’s overwhelmed as we start to chat about what’s going on for her… her needs, her fears and what might happen next. However, as we sit with our brews and chat, she begins to find some clarity, and some peace, and I can see that she’s already feeling a little lighter.  

 

I am an End of Life Doula, and holding space for people while they try and process what’s going on for them is just one of the many aspects of what is a really varied and deeply human role.

In case you’re unfamiliar with the term, an End of Life Doula is a non-medical, holistic role which refers to someone who is trained to offer compassionate, emotional, spiritual, and practical support to individuals approaching the end of life - and to those in their life who love and care for them. We’re often described as companions, advocates, or guides, accompanying someone during one of the most profound and vulnerable times of their lives.

We work alongside - not instead of - medical and care professionals, bridging the gaps that can often exist between services. Our focus is on the person, not just the condition or situation. It’s about creating a space where someone feels seen and heard, where their wishes are honoured, and where they are supported to experience death in a way that aligns with their values, beliefs, and needs.

The aim is to empower people to experience their end of life in a way that is as peaceful, meaningful, and as dignified as possible. This might look very different for different people and our role is always led by the client. For some, it may mean spending their final days at home, surrounded by family and familiar comforts. For others, it may mean taking time to mend relationships, create legacy projects, or simply have their hand held while they sleep. Sometimes, people want someone to talk to who isn’t a friend or family member - someone who can hold their fears, anger, sadness, or even humour, someone who can accept whatever arises. 

As End of Life Doulas, we ‘meet people where they are’ without judgement or trying to ‘fix’ things. There’s no pressure to be at peace or to find meaning. We acknowledge each person’s current situation with empathy, respect, and a deep understanding that there is no right or wrong way to deal with end of life challenges.

An End of Life Doula can:

Advocate for someone in medical appointments, helping to ensure their voice is heard - particularly when communication becomes more difficult.

Support with advance care planning, including discussions around preferred place of care and death, or documenting funeral wishes.

Navigate health and social care systems, helping to make sense of often overwhelming information or options.

Run errands or assist with ‘life admin’, such as organising paperwork, arranging help at home or even walking the dog.

Facilitate honest conversations with family and loved ones, helping to reduce fear, increase connection and ease loneliness.

Offer a calm, non-anxious presence in someone’s final days — often just sitting in silence, being a steady presence when words aren’t needed.

 

End of Life Doulas can also support people after a death has occurred, helping families with rituals, early grief support, or practicalities in the immediate days that follow.

The role is rooted in deep love, presence, and respect. It’s about accompanying someone, not leading or directing them. It’s about slowing down enough to notice what really matters, and creating space for that to be honoured. It’s about being with ‘what is’, even when ‘what is’ feels heavy, complex, or unknown.

We also support communities in facilitating conversations around death and dying. Some people want to explore what a good death means to them, or how to make sure their wishes are known long before a diagnosis is given. Increasingly, people are recognising that death is not just a medical event - it’s a deeply human experience, and one worth preparing for in the same way we might plan a birth or a wedding.

Our support is tailored to the needs of the person/family we are supporting. Sometimes, a one-off session with a family as a whole may be all that is needed, but generally we would work with people throughout the last 6-12 months of their life supporting both them and those important to them. We're around for as long as we're required, and that can also mean out of hours, or even sometimes overnight or as ‘live-in’ support. Each case is discussed and agreed in accordance with what the person needs, and what the doula can provide. The doula can visit the client wherever is agreed - hospital, hospice or their home - even remotely - online, or over the phone. Some doulas work on a voluntary basis and others are self-employed and generally charge around £25-£35 an hour depending on their level of training. However, budget should never be a barrier to accessing support, and End of Life Doula UK welcomes all enquiries for support and may be able to offer subsidised support in some cases. 

Generally we find that most requests for support come from an adult child of the person who has a terminal diagnosis, who is caring for their parent or parents, and needs additional support for themselves and their relative to enable them to focus on being a daughter/son/relative rather than being caught up in the admin and practical role of being a carer. Having a doula involved can enable the person to focus on spending quality time with their relative whilst the doula picks up some of the admin, coordination, and emotional support needs.

Every situation is different, as is every person, and it’s a real privilege to accompany people as they navigate this part of life. It’s work that asks us to be present, grounded, and tender. And in the midst of sadness and endings, it often reveals moments of deep connection, clarity, and love.

End of Life Doula UK is the membership association for end of life doulas and end of life doulas in training in the UK. You can find out more by visiting https://eol-doula.uk/ and if you’re in need of emotional support, advocacy, companionship, practical assistance or after death support, please contact us here.

 

Eva Lake - Holistic Therapist, Soul Doula and End of Life Doula in training.

Bluesky / X / Instagram: @eoldoulauk