Mary's story for Triple Negative Breast Cancer Day

For #TripleNegativeBreastCancerDay (Sun 3 March, 2024) we are shining a light on some of our wonderful members of the community who have a diagnosis of Triple Negative. Mary shares her story.

"In April 2022, I was 31. I was working in my dream job, had recently gotten engaged, and had obtained planning permission to build a home with my partner but as the old saying goes God laughs while you’re making plans. 

I was diagnosed with Covid 19 in February 2022, I recovered but when I started experiencing chest pains, the hospital thought I might have a blot clot. When I went for a CT scan, they discovered while my heart and lungs were fine, there was a lump in my breast. 

The next 7 weeks passed in a flurry of scans, egg preservation and doctor’s appointments. My lump had growth from 3.5cm in the original CT to 10cm by the time I started chemotherapy. I’ve never had any medical issues in the past so it was a bit of a learning curve getting used to my new hospital orientated life. I started 8 cycles of chemotherapy and initially things were looking good. My lump started to shrink and I was managing through chemo. 

I underwent a single mastectomy and full auxiliary lymph node clearance on 29 November 2022. I recovered and enjoyed my Christmas waiting for radiotherapy to start. 

In February I started getting chest pains while waiting for radiotherapy. It felt very similar to what I had when I was initially diagnosed. I spoke to my Oncologist who luckily took my concerns seriously. He arranged a CT and I started radiotherapy on 1 March 2023. My chest pains started to subside and I put the scan results out of my mind. My Oncologist had already indicated I would need more chemotherapy afterwards and I tolerated the radiotherapy well. 

On 28 March 2023, I had an appointment with my Oncologist. He said that there was suspected cancer mass on my thymus gland and it would be indicative of secondary cancer. My entire world came crashing down, I never once imagined I wouldn’t get past cancer and it wouldn’t just be a phase in my life. 

Unfortunately, one of the things I learned early on in the hospital is that things aren’t black and white. The Oncologist couldn’t confirm if it was secondary cancer as the mass was in too dangerous of a position to biopsy. What followed was six months of a limbo land where I flitted between planning my funeral and being hopeful that the Oncologist opinion was incorrect. 

I started Capecitabine in April 2022, an oral chemotherapy and I anxiously awaited my first scan results. I was quite worried as the pain in my chest started again and I feared the worst. The Oncologist was quite concerned because if it was cancer, there was a risk it was chemo resistant as it had developed following eight cycles of IV chemo. 

Luckily my first scan results were good, the mass had shrunk and it appeared the Capecitabine was working!!! I started living my life in three month blocks from scan to scan, each stable scan or reduction being a victory. 

I’m now 10 months on cape and it’s still working well. There are always challenges living with cancer but I’m enjoying my life. Last year, I went away on four holidays, I have started weight training with a cancer friendly exercise program and I made countless memories with family and friends. I’m living my life when possible and the hospital visits have become routine. 

What people don’t talk about is that a cancer diagnosis can be a lonely place to be, all of a sudden your life has completely change. 

What has hugely helped me is finding a community and finding my cancer tribe. M2C provides groups where you can talk to people in similar situations to yourself, it’s great to be able to connect with people in your new normal. 

I started an instagram page to show people there is life after a secondary cancer diagnosis. I’ve finally booked my wedding for the end of April and I only have one more scan to get through to get married on my current treatment. My nurse and doctors are incredibly supportive, my nurse told me on a recent hospital visit that their goal is to fit hospital appointments around my life, not the other way around! 

If I could give anyone advice that has been recently diagnosed, your life is not over. Yes your life will change but you can still make wonderful memories with your family and friends. Connect with members of the community with organisations like Make 2nds Count. I’m living my life in spite of and not because of cancer."

Thank you to Mary for sharing her story. To join the 2nds Together FB Group, visit https://www.facebook.com/groups/2ndstogether