The Emotional Impact of Secondary Breast Cancer - Community Stories Part 3

Living with secondary (metastatic) cancer is challenging. You will deal with a variety of emotions, such as fear, sadness, anxiety, anger, or hopelessness. Sometimes, people find it difficult to express how they feel to their loved ones. Your loved ones might also need help coping. Having a family member or friend with metastatic cancer is challenging, especially for people who help care for you.

Talking about fears and concerns is important, even when treatment is working well and you have hope. 

We opened this subject up to our ‘2nds Together’ community to find out more about the ‘emotional impact of secondary breast cancer’ and are sharing stories from Sam and Emma this week. 

Thank you. 

Questions:

How long have you been living with secondary breast cancer?

What is the emotional impact of this disease for you and your family?

Do you have any coping techniques or advice you’d like to share?

How long have you been living with secondary breast cancer?

I was diagnosed de novo in January of this year, the 5th to be precise. 

I was hospitalised for 2 weeks upon diagnosis due to hypercalcaemia, where my calcium levels were dangerously high. I think this affected us more than perhaps the diagnosis initially, because I could have died. It has certainly been a short, quick rollercoaster ride. 

What is the emotional impact of this disease for you and your family?

My husband and sister have been the main carers, with my Mum on standby due to the fact that my Stepdad is on end of life care - it's been quite a harrowing and difficult 12 months for us as a family. So, as you can imagine, the emotional impact has been huge.

Do you have any coping techniques or advice you’d like to share?

In terms of coping, my sister and I have been doing meditation. We started in the hospital, doing short sessions together. I had a period of extreme depression, and so I have medication to help, and have recently started counselling. My husband and sister also have medication now, and my sister is talking to a counsellor too. 

Perhaps our situation is a little different, as both husband and sister are medical professionals. This can be a double edged sword in terms of knowledge. I feel very lucky in a lot of ways, especially in how to get the best information, to not be afraid to speak to the medical team, and to change meds if needed. I'm in a number of online support groups, as well as a face to face group, and I know that there are people who don't have as much support as I do, and are afraid to ask the team, or don't have access to a BCN. 

How long have you been living with secondary breast cancer?

I have been living with metastatic breast cancer for 2 and a half years, with mets to liver. 

What is the emotional impact of this disease for you and your family?

The emotional impact varies from day to day. Most of the time I remain positive and although its impossible not to think about it, I'm lucky that I can remain active and not dwell on it. Some days are difficult, especially when other people just go about their daily business and you have this hanging over you.  

My husband deals with it well,  partly due to his attitude towards life in general and me protecting him from stuff he doesn't needs to be involved in.

Do you have any coping techniques or advice you’d like to share?

My coping techniques would be to practise mindfulness and to just live day by day. Tomorrow isn't promised to anyone. Also take a break from social media as it can be overwhelming with so much information and people that are not not in the same situation as you. Each diagnosis is different.