Giving hope to those affected
by secondary breast cancer
Research. Support. Education.
Giving hope to those affected
by secondary breast cancer
24th July 2025 by Claire O'Donnell
My name is Gayatri, I am of Indian origin and live in London. I am 45 years old, mother of two beautiful girls aged 9 and 12, married to a very supportive husband. I was first diagnosed with primary breast cancer in the summer of 2017 when I was 37 years old. I had just finished nursing our youngest daughter at 13 months and felt a lump in my left breast. We were living in the United Arab Emirates (UAE) at the time. I went to my GP and showed her the lump, and she ordered an ultrasound.
Two weeks later I got an email from my GP to say she would recommend I go for further tests, while I was in India for summer holidays. So, at 37 my breast cancer journey started, with a lumpectomy, tests, chemotherapy, radiation and the whole nine yards. Following this I was in remission for a year and a half and once my immunotherapy stopped, I had a relapse in the summer of 2020 – during the peak of COVID, which was again a local reoccurrence. A few days later I lost my mother to gallbladder cancer – she was living in another country and due to the travel restrictions at the time I was unable to even attend her funeral. I felt as if I had been punched in the stomach and thrown to the wall all at one time. I had no time to grieve my mother as following my scan, my oncologist immediately started me on a chemotherapy regime to shrink the tumours. I chose to have a double mastectomy with full lymph node removal on the left hand side, followed by more chemotherapy, immunotherapy and radiation.
Cancer definitely helps you understand priorities in life and my family, and I decided to move from the UAE to London – which is where my husband is from. I wanted to have a change of environment, thinking a fresh start will be good for all of us given the trauma we had all been through as a family. The shift of environment made me feel more alive and one of the main reasons for coming to the UK was to have some community support as a breast cancer survivor.
Following our move, I was off any treatment for a year however, in my annual scan in 2023 we found evidence of metastatic breast cancer and that is when I was diagnosed with secondary breast cancer. I have now been living with secondary breast cancer for over two years. I am on the second line of treatment for Her2 positive breast cancer.
The journey of living with cancer has been a cathartic one. On the one hand my cancer has taught me how to embrace life and moments, treasure family and friends, cut out toxicity and yet you live with a sword over your head. Dealing with the uncertainty is one of the most challenging aspects. I was introduced to Make 2nds Count (M2C) by my breast cancer nurse and Future Dreams house, and this is what I needed. I needed to see other women, younger and older than me living with the same condition. Women who understood what I was going through without necessarily talking about it. For organizations like M2C, Future Dreams House, Maggies and Macmillian I am grateful.
It wasn’t until I went to some of the coffee mornings and events that I realized that I can live like others around me in the room, and that living with secondary breast cancer wasn’t a death sentence. Seeing women laugh, joke, moan, go on holidays and make plans gave me a real sense of hope and upliftment. The funny thing is one never knows what those around you are going through. It’s only when we take the time to pause and listen to peoples’ stories that one is humbled to learn there are others in the same position as you.
There is a stigma attached with the word “cancer” and people often feel that is the end of your life however, medicine and treatments have advanced so much that now so many people are living with cancer. This nature of support was something I was not exposed to until I came to London. I do wish to see more women of Indian origin at these coffee mornings and events and often notice that I am the only Asian lady in the room. I am unsure if that has to do with the fact that culturally, we Indian woman maybe do not put ourselves out there as much, and perhaps we don’t talk about the need for supportive groups for getting HELP. Being vulnerable is one of the bravest emotions one can display and perhaps we are conditioned to always be STRONG and take life by the horns. But this is just my perspective.
Perhaps organizing more events that touch a cultural cord might encourage more participation from ethnic minorities. Moreover, I think talking about it, educating ourselves and those around us – family, friends, through social media, will contribute to more women coming to events and sharing their experiences. Knowing that it is “ok to not be ok” and reach out for help and support would probably encourage more women of ethnic minorities to come to events and meet ups.
I have had cancer treatment in three countries, India, UAE and the UK and can easily say that I have had very good quality care (medical and supportive) in the UK. It isn’t only about the treatments and doctors but also about the supportive care you receive in the UK from your nursers and non-profit organizations.
I continue my journey through life like all other people living with an incurable diseases - taking one day at a time. being grateful for what I have, loving and living in the moment, being kind to myself, asking for help when I need it and putting one foot in front of the other.
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