Giving hope to those affected
by secondary breast cancer
My name is Kelly and I am 48, from Romford, in Essex. I live alone with my 16 year old son. I gave up my job as a Finance Officer in a school earlier this year due to stress and not being able to cope with the role alongside my diagnosis.
My son was approaching his GCSE year at school and I wanted to be present and support him rather than being drained and incoherent because of work. I hope to find something in the future, possibly volunteering.
My primary diagnosis was in May 2019. I’d found a lump on my nipple, had a lumpectomy, one lymph node removed and radiotherapy for six weeks.
Around September of 2022, I started to feel unwell and was losing weight yet still eating. I was very active at the gym as well as in my life in general and could not do physical tasks easily. I was suffering from severe pain which would come and go, in various places; ribs, back, legs. It was indescribable pain, however I knew it was not muscular. I was exhausted most of the time.
I had numerous GP appointments and saw four different GP’s over a period of 10-11 months. Despite my history, they were oblivious, as was I. In August 2023, I was finally referred to the rapid two-week scheme. I took my son to Belgium for a few days and the hospital called whilst we were away, asking me to come in on the day we were due home, following a CT scan.
We arrived home from Belgium and I went straight to the hospital with my best friend where we received the news that my cancer had spread. Unfortunately the ‘messenger’ was not a consultant and could not give very much information or explanation and it was a Friday so I had to wait a few days before I could find out more .
It was devastating but very much a blur but also somewhat relieved to have an explanation for the way I’d been feeling. I ultimately felt like ‘this is it, I’m going to die’. My son was only 14, and I just couldn’t cope with the thought of leaving him or him even suffering because of this. I felt angry - that it wasn’t picked up sooner. Stupid - because I was oblivious to the symptoms. Scared - for my son’s future.
My brother came along to my first consultant appointment where everything was explained and there was a plan. My breast cancer had spread to my liver and bones. Whilst the bone spread was all over, the most affected was my spine. The prognosis wasn’t good, I was told I might have three years, however I was determined to fight through the treatment and enjoy the remaining time making valuable memories.
I suffered severe anxiety, panic attacks, claustrophobia alongside the pain but I was fortunate in that I had fantastic support from family, friends, and medical professionals. The treatment was a success and things are stable two years on.
I have remained positive and hopeful and encourage others to do so. Sometimes I feel it affects family and friends more sometimes because they are on the outside looking in. They feel helpless and carry the burden of the unknown but they see me positive and it transfers (I believe).
I rarely think about it, and feel like I am living with a chronic illness rather than a ‘death sentence’. Life is very different although I do not think about it every day. I don’t sleep well so I always feel tired. I am in pain, everything takes longer (household chores) but I make sure I plan and am well rested before doing anything which involves a late night, travelling etc.
In the last two years I have taken my son abroad twice, and have another holiday planned in two months time. We have been on several weekends away, have been to many gigs including Sir Paul McCartney! and lots of wonderful days out.
My son did amazing with his GCSE’s despite struggling with my diagnosis initially.
I participate in wellbeing walks when I feel up to it which really give me a buzz both physically and mentally.
It’s important to make plans, although not too far in advance, things to look forward to, especially holidays! Aside from not working, I am still doing everything I want to, albeit a little slower!
Since my diagnosis I have armed myself with knowledge from various organisations. Make 2nds Count has provided literature for me which I have shared with family and friends regarding my diagnosis and treatment. This is reassuring for them when there is so much to take in.
I also had a telephone appointment regarding clinical trials which was very informative and expanded my knowledge giving me confidence for the future and what may be available.
When I received my diagnosis I found so much reassurance in reading good news stories and I really hope my story can make a difference to those with a similar diagnosis.
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