Giving hope to those affected
by secondary breast cancer
Hi I am Lorraine, I am 52 and a half! I am married with two teens. My husband and I own our own recruitment business.
In 2022, I found a lump when I was putting on my body oil after a work-out on holiday. My friend had found a lump and urged all her clients to check. Hers was benign. I ran downstairs, asked my husband and he knew straightaway it wasn’t right. When we returned home the poodles wouldn’t leave me alone. Everything happened very fast. Fast forward and I had a complication with chemo. On day nine of Chemo Number One I was admitted with severe typhlitis. I was told I would probably lose my bowel. No more chemo allowed. Fortunately, I turned a corner and a few weeks later I was ready for the lumpectomy and 26 lymph bodes removed (13 cancerous).
Fast forward again to skiing holiday in 2024 when I unknowingly broke two ribs completed disconnected from the secondary cancer that was about to be revealed. I had a lesion on the sacrum. This year there is further spread to the iliac joint and indeterminate nodes near the trachea.
The first diagnosis was shocking for my family and the secondary diagnosis was revealed to me the day before my son’s French speaking exam for his GCSE. All I ever think of is how this affects my children and planning around their studies, sports activities and life experiences. My daughter is now doing GCSEs and my son, his A Levels. My husband remains strong but often sad but we share a wonderful life and I have a lot of laughs. He has supported me throughout.
I have continued to work but treatment only allows part time hours. I fought this concept for months but eventually realised that fatigue is a wave that you have to ride with and succumb to. Sleep has to be taken. I have been known to sleep at the side of the road in a parking space when needs must!!!!
I am also an Ambassador for Tropic Skincare which I love. I make every effort to attend every football match, race and show I can for the children. This week I am attending three out of four performances of West Side Story my daughter is in. I go to weekly quizzes with my husband, two choirs and go sea dipping with my friends. I have had to stop running but found alternatives in many forms. I had been talking about joining a choir for about ten years! ‘No time like the present’ soon became something of a mantra!
Fluctuation in weight became an issue but I have found a new normal and feel in control and have allowed myself, eventually, to accept who I am. It has taken time. If anything, I think I have been forced to be slightly kinder to myself! That’s a positive I have drawn from the whole situation. Take the positives when you can, I say !
I knew virtually nothing about secondary breast cancer. People only ever wanted to tell me of positive stories and winning battles etc. This was not helpful and remains the case!
This was not a battle that I ever had a chance of winning. Temporary Ceasefire perhaps.
Finding out that I had secondary breast cancer was horrid. I was scared but went into survival mode. As further chemo hadn’t been an option for me the first time round, I had almost been prepared for the likeliness of return. I almost prepared myself for a spread. Every scan fills me with dread but in some way I almost relish the scans in a period of preparation mentally for the inevitable.
Some scans are better than others. I recently had a brain scan, tests for glaucoma and liver scans. I had prepared myself for the worst mentally. This involved preparing for a plan. So far, my brain is good, eyes are good and liver is good TO DATE SO FAR….. Hell, I can still even have a drink if I want to on this treatment (unlike the last meds which left my liver shot but fortunately that repaired)! I feel very lucky some days. Sun shining, sea inviting, friends surrounding. Yes, I have dark moments and have to pull myself together. Who doesn’t? That’s life. Especially if its raining like most people in the UK! I am one extremely lucky lady in so many ways.
The first time I found Make 2nds Count was through searching for yoga and I found the wonderful and kind Yvonne who is something of an angel. Even my poodles love her soothing voice. What a star. This led me to Make 2nds Count and the dedicated charity with many voices helping and encouraging members of the group. I am extremely proud to have become an Ambassador and can’t wait to set up a group in Poole, Dorset for Tea, chat and hopefully some sea/beach moments.
My advice to anyone being diagnosed with secondary breast cancer is:
Donate